Marriage in China

The traditions and rituals of marriage in China are very important and it is wise to adhere to them as closely to possible to avoid giving offense.

Marriage in China is the joining of two families as much as it is the union of the couple. As your relationship develops you should be mindful of the steps you need to take with your beloved and how to conduct yourself.

This is a special time and you should be aware of the traditions. We understand that logistics and distance may prevent your family from assisting you in China and we at Shifu Lem would be delighted to be your family. In the future if you require any assistance please contact your Shifu Lem counselor who will be delighted to be of service.

Proposal

In fact this is something you and your beloved would have discussed and agreed. Your beloved would also in all likelihood inform her family of the situation. However we would recommend you still follow formalities and the ritual of appointing a "match- maker"� to formally approach your beloved's family on your behalf.

This is an elaborate affair of proposal and acceptance after which the Betrothal ceremony can be planned. This is a formal affair where the both families meet at the Brides home and a "Grand gift"� is given by the Grooms family to the Brides family. The acceptance of this gift signifies the agreement and Betrothal.

Preparations for Wedding

This stage the families are ready to make the announcement of marriage to their friends and relatives which is traditionally made by sending Double Happiness Cakes along with formal invitations

The bride's family then prepares the dowry and gives the list of dowries to the groom's family who then prepares the setting of the Bridal Bed ritual. The bride's family in turn prepares the household accessories for the new home.

The Chinese bride at this stage goes into seclusion as a symbolic mourning as she is leaving her family home.

The Wedding

The wedding day is carefully chosen in consultation with the astrological signs. It has become traditional to be married at the half hour and in the morning when the clocks are moving up – this is the symbol for the marriage to be commencing on an upswing and good luck.

On the day of the wedding the Groom arrives at the bride's house symbolically dressed by his family, bearing gifts and money covered in red tissue paper to collect the bride to go to the wedding chapel.

There are a number of ceremonies to conduct including the Tea ceremony where the couple serve tea to their families as they kneel in front of them.

This is followed by the feast which is a formalized banquet. The bride is expected to change her clothes a number of times and one can expect at least 3 changes.

The Morning After

The day after the wedding the bride is expected to wake early and cook a meal for the Groom's family signifying how well brought up she is.

Three days after the wedding the couple visit the bride's house but this time the bride is a visitor to the house and does not participate in any of the preparations.